Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Preliminaries

I weigh myself a lot. Like every day. I say "like" because what I really mean is 2-3x per day. It's not always like that, but it is right now. I talk about it with my husband like the weather - weather he has no interest in hearing about.

I'm 23. I got married at 19. My oldest son will be 3 in March. My second son is 5 months old and exclusively breastfed. I don't have any daughters for the present, but it's never too early to fix my body issues before I do. And boys pick up on things too.

I'm one of the healthiest people I know. Not because I'm chiseled out of muscle or am a marathoner. I just eat right. My most recent post-partum recovery was super speedy. I still have 6.5 lbs to lose, but that will be gone over time. I weigh 18 lbs less than when I got married, and 3.5 lbs less than when I got pregnant for the first time.

But those are just numbers, and I treat them like they own me. Not anymore. I'm breaking the habit.

What am I afraid of?

I'm afraid that, if I don't watch those numbers as frequently as possible, they will skyrocket. That I will lose control.

Mostly it's habitual. Sometimes it's an impulse.

That's why, starting on January 1, 2015, I am throwing away the scale and commiting to not weighing myself for an entire calendar year.

This is an example of what my calendar looks like right now, coming from the month my youngest was born. Let's say goodbye to those numbers :)

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